As much as possible try to choose persons who have something in common
with you besides being gay.
1.1 Just because you have the same
taste in clothes, or hockey skates does not mean that you were meant
to be together forever.
Insist that most of the time you share dinner and entertainment expenses.
If you do not, then one of you will be taking advantage of the other.
2.1 But then, sometimes someone
you're interested may make far less than you, and being a generous
person, you may insist on paying. This is not a case of someone taking
advantage of someone. It is a case of wanting to have the finer experiences
without placing the other person at disadvantage.
Take note that a relationship that does not develop sparks between
the two of you inside 3 months will probably not ever develop that
A genuine discussion of desires for the relationship should take place
at that time to assess whether it merits being continued. We all have
friends, but when we are dating we are often looking for a lover and/or
We have all me people that we really fall "head over heels for"
but for whom the feeling is just not reciprocal.
You are "beating a dead horse" by going on.
Needy people will drag you down.
4.1 Avoid being one of them.
Get a therapist.
Spend your money on fixing yourself before you try to "get fixed
up" with someone else.
Do not get involved with a straight person.
Straight people sometimes want to know "what it is" to be
gay so they "try" it out. They always go back to the straight
life. They will break your heart.
The real question to ask a formerly straight person is can that person
behave in a mature manner dealing with their current responsibilities
and still offer themselves in a committed way to someone new regardless
of gender? If so, then go for it!
And can you accept, with patience, the patently difficult times ahead?
especially if there are children?
Can you deal with the back lash of disapproval that is bound to be
heaped on you by their family? (It is all your fault he/she has turned
Just a few things
to think about.
Drugs are usually the ruination of any relationship. (Excessive
While sex is not everything, your relationship can not last without
it in some form otherwise you are just friends.
7.1 There are many forms of sex.
Touching, kissing, hugging in different forms are all sexual.
Since sex is not everything, your relationship can not evolve without
some other kinds of mutual interests.
8.1 But then if you do not care
if it evolves...
Learn all you can about the other persons prior relationships without
being stupid about it.
A person in their mid thirties or forties who has never been able
to stay in a relationship for any length of time may never be able
to stay in one.
Some people who have been in lengthy relationships and tried new relationships
may have reached a point in which they do not want to try any more
to have a relationship with anyone.
They have given up.
9.3 You may have to back off from
Find who did the breaking up in the other person's relationships.
A person who has had a long string of relationships in which either
they were always dumped or they always did the dumping is a red
flag. They may need counselling or be unable to maintain
10.1 Either way there will be a
lot of "baggage" to deal with.
The person you are dating should have a job. Check this out
11.1 If the person has a habit of
going from one job to another this may be a warning sign that they
can not get along with the employer or other people.
The person you are dating should have an education commensurate with
12.1 Or the person should not resent your having a higher education.
12.2 Or the person should not put you down for having a lesser
12.3 The fact is that this issue is one that comes up in many
fights when one or the other starts slinging "arrows".