R e j e c t i o n

Your kinder words of rejection of her romantic gestures go completely unheard....

“Hey, I do not think of you that way” or “I like us as friends” does not seem to make any impact on her what so ever. Over and over again she asks, “How do you feel about me?” She does not accept your terms, insists you are missing something fabulous about her and cannot possibly understand why you are attracted to that brunette and not her. She constantly makes passes at you and unless she falls in love with someone else, she never gives up hope that someday you will see the light and her at the end of the tunnel.

Sometimes she vents her frustrations out on you and implies that you are shallow or vein for not finding her attractive. “Oh, you only like what is on the outside, you only are attracted to femmes”. Or she gets angry and tells you she is ending your friendship only to call you a week later. On an extreme level, you may feel that she forces you to say hurtful things to her. Over and over again, she wants you to tell her exactly why and what is it about her that you do not find attractive.

Women are more emotional and perhaps pickier in choosing our mates or lovers than men.
While many of us love down and dirty sex, women tend to form emotional connection to sex. When we see something in someone that we feel we can make that magical connection with and they reject us, we feel they just do not know how much we love them, or how wonderful it would be. It shatters our confidence and our dreams.

We mistake romantic rejection as an emotional rejection.

Rejection is no picnic whether we are on the giving or the receiving end. But there are ways to handle rejection with reality, grace and dignity. At the end of the tunnel may be the true love of your life and wonderful enriching friendships. Here are a few suggestions:

What to do when you are being rejected.
First of all, listen to what she is saying. If she tells you she only thinks of you as a friend, or that you are not her type, hear it and let it go. Chances are, she is NOT going to come to her senses and wake up one day to find that she is attracted to you in a romantic way. Be real and be thankful that she was honest with you. It could have been much worse on your heart and your wallet, had she decided to date you when she really was not interested in you romantically.

Do NOT take it out on her.
While we have no control over others, we do have control over how we respond to situations, even devastating ones. Besides making an idiot of yourself, misdirecting your frustrations with anger may not only lose what friendship you may have with this woman but may take your connection with your own emotional well being down with it.

If possible accept friendship . Obviously there is something that you find very worthy in this woman.
Each woman has her own preference, while you may not conform to her taste as a love interest; there are many fish in the sea that may find you irresistible. Her rejection represents one person’s opinion and is not a definition of your dating value.

If you are constantly being rejected, there is something that you may be doing wrong.
Ask yourself questions about what happened. Be open and without retribution ask your good friends to give their honest input. Why do women react that way to you? Does their reaction give you information you can use to improve yourself? Can you change your approach or your appearance to become more successful in dating?

What to do when she will not accept only friendship
First of all, be completely compassionately honest. Compassionately treat her with the same respect you would want to be treated. Tell her everything that you find great about her, yet why you are not sexually attracted to her. Perhaps, she is an ultra femme and you love stone butches, perhaps she doesn’t take care of herself physically or perhaps you do not date younger women, whatever the reason be honest.

Your honesty will help her in the long run.

If you are truly not attracted to her do not give in.
Sadly many women are worn down emotionally are manipulated, guilted, bullied or coerced into dating someone they are not attracted to. Often the manipulation comes in the form of being given things, being taken care of or rescued. This is a very sad and very old way of being manipulated and tricked into an unfulfilling relationship. The manipulator may feel it is the perfect relationship and while you may fall in love with such devotion or become attracted to being taken care of, your lack of satisfaction will keep coming back at your conscience.

Do not let your own loneliness mislead this woman!
Yes, you, yourself may be very lonely and desire companionship. You long for a girlfriend, someone to come home to, someone that you ache for and miss when she is gone. It’s nice having a companion, but if you are not attracted to her now, trust me, two years from now it will not be any better. By settling and limiting yourself, you could be missing that chance at true passion and true love. It will never be complete with this woman. Eventually you will devastate her.

Be respectful of yourself.
Some women just do not get it and never will. No matter how many times you tell them or how forcefully you tell them, they are not mentally equipped to accept that you will not come around and see what you are missing. They are not respectful of you and some can be dangerous. It is not easy having to be forced to reject someone over and over again. Do not beat yourself up for being honest.
Never allow someone to mistreat you or disrespect you.

If you have to walk away from the friendship ,
do it.


It’s a fact of life and it has happens to all of us.
We have been both rejected and have been the unwanted object of a particular person’s desire. women seem to have a much harder time accepting rejection than men.
It is a fact that men most often separate sex and love.
It is not her fault that she is not attracted to you.

Brief analysis often provides valuable information, but don’t get stuck over analyzing yourself.

Decide what to do next and do it.

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