kinder words of rejection of her romantic gestures go completely unheard....
Hey, I do not think of you that way or I like us
as friends does not seem to make any impact on her what so ever.
Over and over again she asks, How do you feel about me?
She does not accept your terms, insists you are missing something
fabulous about her and cannot possibly understand why you are attracted
to that brunette and not her. She constantly makes passes at you and
unless she falls in love with someone else, she never gives up hope
that someday you will see the light and her at the end of the tunnel.
Sometimes she vents
her frustrations out on you and implies that you are shallow or vein
for not finding her attractive. Oh, you only like what is on
the outside, you only are attracted to femmes. Or she gets angry
and tells you she is ending your friendship only to call you a week
later. On an extreme level, you may feel that she forces you to say
hurtful things to her. Over and over again, she wants you to tell
her exactly why and what is it about her that you do not find attractive.
are more emotional and perhaps pickier in choosing our mates or lovers
While many of us love down and dirty sex, women tend to form emotional
connection to sex. When we see something in someone that we feel we
can make that magical connection with and they reject us, we feel
they just do not know how much we love them, or how wonderful it would
be. It shatters our confidence and our dreams.
We mistake romantic rejection as an emotional
Rejection is no
picnic whether we are on the giving or the receiving end. But there
are ways to handle rejection with reality, grace and dignity. At the
end of the tunnel may be the true love of your life and wonderful
enriching friendships. Here are a few suggestions:
What to do when you are being rejected.
First of all,
listen to what she is saying. If she tells you she only thinks of
you as a friend, or that you are not her type, hear it and let it
go. Chances are, she is NOT going to come to her senses and wake up
one day to find that she is attracted to you in a romantic way. Be
real and be thankful that she was honest with you. It could have been
much worse on your heart and your wallet, had she decided to date
you when she really was not interested in you romantically.
Do NOT take it out on her.
While we have no control over others, we do have control over how
we respond to situations, even devastating ones. Besides making an
idiot of yourself, misdirecting your frustrations with anger may not
only lose what friendship you may have with this woman but may take
your connection with your own emotional well being down with it.
If possible accept friendship . Obviously
there is something that you find very worthy in this woman.
has her own preference, while you may not conform to her taste as
a love interest; there are many fish in the sea that may find you
irresistible. Her rejection represents one persons opinion and
is not a definition of your dating value.
If you are constantly being rejected,
there is something that you may be doing wrong.
Ask yourself questions
about what happened. Be open and without retribution ask your good
friends to give their honest input. Why do women react that way to
you? Does their reaction give you information you can use to improve
yourself? Can you change your approach or your appearance to become
more successful in dating?
What to do when she will not accept only
of all, be completely compassionately honest. Compassionately treat
her with the same respect you would want to be treated. Tell her everything
that you find great about her, yet why you are not sexually attracted
to her. Perhaps, she is an ultra femme and you love stone butches,
perhaps she doesnt take care of herself physically or perhaps
you do not date younger women, whatever the reason be honest.
Your honesty will
help her in the long run.
If you are truly not attracted to her
do not give in.
Sadly many women are worn down emotionally are manipulated, guilted,
bullied or coerced into dating someone they are not attracted to.
Often the manipulation comes in the form of being given things, being
taken care of or rescued. This is a very sad and very old way of being
manipulated and tricked into an unfulfilling relationship. The manipulator
may feel it is the perfect relationship and while you may fall in
love with such devotion or become attracted to being taken care of,
your lack of satisfaction will keep coming back at your conscience.
Do not let your own loneliness mislead
Yes, you, yourself may be very lonely and desire companionship. You
long for a girlfriend, someone to come home to, someone that you ache
for and miss when she is gone. Its nice having a companion,
but if you are not attracted to her now, trust me, two years from
now it will not be any better. By settling and limiting yourself,
you could be missing that chance at true passion and true love. It
will never be complete with this woman. Eventually you will devastate
Be respectful of yourself.
Some women just do not get it and never will. No matter how many times
you tell them or how forcefully you tell them, they are not mentally
equipped to accept that you will not come around and see what you
are missing. They are not respectful of you and some can be dangerous.
It is not easy having to be forced to reject someone over and over
again. Do not beat yourself up for being honest.
Never allow someone to mistreat you or disrespect you.
If you have to walk away
from the friendship ,